“You’re too Far”: Long Distance Relationships

“Skype is not enough, I need you to be around me”, she texted him on WhatsApp. Everyday video calls and chats didn’t seem to be enough for her. College sweet hearts took up to different cities after college placements and he went to US a year after that. Living in a different time zone became an altogether different story. Shweta and Tanmay are not the sole couple juggling their lives out of a long-distance relationship. Their parents have nodded to their choice, belong to good families and do not have any major life issue except being far from each other.

Professional commitments and ambitions have brought a positive vibe in life but also created caveats technology can’t fulfill. Counsellors increasingly counter cases of couples who are just perfectly synchronized but give up on lack of physical intimacy. In the beginning, they vow to be in touch day and night believing themselves to be not like others. Consistent e-mails, messages, chats, video calling takes a declining route a year later. They invest in air tickets and hotels to see each other in a few months but relationships are not shots taken, they are everyday food that satiate life. Emoticons winking, kissing and hugging cannot be a replacement of the warmth rubbing of hands can give you. But then the crux is that long distance relationships are inevitable as they are a byproduct of modern living. We need to calibrate and accommodate our lives around this reality.

Here’s a take on what probably could be your challenges if you chose to go the Long-Distance Way

  • Understand each other’s schedule and plan an hour of quality time solely with each other at least thrice a week. Don’t be sticky all day sharing micro updates; instead indulge in meaningful conversations to add depth to the relationship.
  • Let go of some friendships, assignments, social media fun or anything that helps you focus on your partner. Certain sacrifices are mandatory investment for a healthy love life. Trying to have it all is pragmatically taxing on yourself.
  • Invest in travelling to see each other on a regular basis. It boosts long lasting healthy courtship and keeps you glued to each other.
  • Relish and appreciate the charm of being together even though for a short while. It keeps you on the romance phase for a longer time.
  • Build trust and give space to each other. Constant prying, spying and doubts isn’t a healthy sign.
  • Set goals. Most couples who break up on lack of compatibility were not able to set goals for themselves. Plan out some sketch of your expectations, marriage plans, financial issues and general stuff to find common ground.

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