4 Things To Reflect On Before Getting Into That Relationship

Most people start feeling the need to date and be in a relationship from their teens, and the trend just carries on, sometimes unbroken, into the 20s and 30s. But what’s the hurry? Before you get into a relationship with someone, it may be a good idea to get into a relationship with YOU—get to know yourself a bit better, learn to love yourself.

If you think this is an exercise in narcissism, then yes, to an extent, it is. Thinking that you are the reason the sun comes up every morning is not a bad thing, as long as you don’t write a book about it. But we are talking the kind of self-love that helps you embrace who you are—good points, bad points, downright shameful/shameless points…everything. And we are also talking about the kind of deep understanding of yourself that helps you know what is good for you, and, just as importantly, what is not.

Without wasting further time, here are some ways to go about it.

1. Get to know yourself
This can be a scary question and, when asked, you may draw a petrified blank. Do not panic. Start with the most basic stuff like: I am Batman, I wear all-black, I use only the latest of gizmo (very particular about that), I used to be scared of bats before my butler/guardian subtly made fun of me… something like that, and then let it roll from there. The idea is to gather information about yourself: strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests, and opinions. It’s like putting together a jigsaw puzzle, piece by fun piece. Be brutally honest, cos hey, there is no one else hearing this stuff inside your head but you.

2. Love yourself
Be a good friend to yourself and spread the love by acknowledging your strengths. At the same time, embrace your weaknesses and flaws compassionately. There is no need to feel ashamed of them or beat yourself up on account of them. We all have them. In fact, some of us specialize in them, so, really it’s no big deal. Accept them, but make a note to do something about them. In other words, love yourself in your awesome, semi-flawed state.

3. Know what you want vs. what you need
What you want is easy. It always is. However, do try and go deeper than the latest model of Ducatti or a Valentino gown. Think personal and professional ambitions, which can help you set goals.

What you need, now that’s a tricky one, requiring deeper thought. See, you may want chocolate cake, but what you need is a balanced nutritious diet. And maybe Coke gets your tastebuds tingling, but only water can slake your thirst. Spend some time with this one, and it will reward you well.

4. Know what you want and need in a partner
And since we are talking about marrying the right one, it’s crucial to know what we are looking for in our partners and what we expect out of them and out of relationships. Compatibility may be a boring word compared to chemistry (*starburst*), but it’s the foundation of good, stable, enduring relationships, and it should be a part of the mix.

Happy Discovering!

photo: nasrulekram

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