23 Signs that show you are Facebook Ka Chowkidaar

So are you feeling the Facebook blues in your life? Do you start your mornings with Facebook without even brushing your teeth? Do you literally eat, sleep, rave and repeat Facebook? If the answer is YES, then this post is for you. Even if it’s not, look around, you may have that friend who is definitely that Chowkidaar of Facebook.

  1. In conversations you have to pretend not knowing some people whom you have already stalked (accidentally) over Facebook and act as if you are hearing their name for the first time.
  2. “Check Ins” have landed you into trouble more than once, the day you told your boss that you are feeling dizzy and then you were grabbing some beer with your friends. This creepy colleague sees your check in (and yes tells your BOSS!)
  3. You have an encyclopedic knowledge of who’s dating whom? What universities did your friends attend and other such minute details.
  4. When your addiction to Candy Crush Saga makes you unpopular amongst friends (you have been abused and threatened to be deleted off Facebook more than once).
  5. Posting  three selfies per hour (and all of them are in continuation).
  6. Spot and add: You are faster than the speed of light in adding people to your friend list, you usually add people within 2 hours of meeting them.
  7. You are in touch with all your friends/acquaintances in US, UK, since you never sleep and always bump into all on Facebook
  8. You have these awkward moments of bumping into people (yes in real life) who never accepted your friend request or deleted you once from Facebook.
  9. You have often had virtual crushes and even heartbreaks on Facebook.
  10. You can literally find anyone on Facebook and even go beyond the privacy settings at times.
  11. PDA, yes you heard it right PDA on Facebook, so you keep posting lovey dovey messages on your boyfriends wall. Oh and if that’s not enough, even your BFF’S!
  12. You usually don’t call back your friends, but you are online liking and commenting on random posts. You have a personal log of last seen on Facebook (just like how whatsapp has) and you know the sleeping pattern (routine) of all your friends.
  13. You feel that meeting people is so over rated since you have all their information handy.
  14. When you never comment and like your friend’s posts but comment on all the posts of groups like ‘Bhak Saala’, ‘Bahut bhook lagi hai subah se kuch nahi khaya.’
  15. The chowkidar often gets drunk and sends people messages on facebook and has no idea in the morning of what the collateral damage was.
  16. You are the wolf of Facebook, always greedy for likes; you often like and comment on others’ pictures so that they can like you back.
  17. At least 3 people delete you each week from their friends’ list because you keep spamming their news feed with your likes and comments.
  18. You have been banned at least once by Facebook for liking photos too soon, or exceeding the limit of liking photos in a day (for amateurs, they do ban people for a day!)
  19. You have this strange habit of Facebook-ing all people who you have heard about or strangers you have to meet.
  20. You have all information of all your EX-s, whom they have dated after you and what are they up to these days.
  21. You suddenly start liking and commenting on friends’ pictures who are just about to get married. (After all who doesn’t want to be invited for free food!)
  22.  You cannot wait to show-off your Facebook friends about your travel plans, by posting status messages showing how excited you are to be finally going on a holiday (after a week though.)
  23.  So here comes your birthday Chowkidaar, you keep sneak peek by being invisible and keeping an account of who wished you and who didn’t. And for those who didn’t wish you GOD BLESS THEM.

Photo: Gage Skidmore

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